Jack walked down the street pondering what to do next. His girlfriend had just called it quits after five long years of a mostly happy relationship. Obviously they had had their ups and downs but there were way more good times than bad. Filled with rejection and self loathing he had taken to the streets to clear his mind. Jack abruptly stopped.
--
I cannot believe she just 'decided' to break up with me. This is bullshit. Why would she do this to me? It was about that time, as I walked down the street, wrapped up in my thoughts that I first heard it.
"Jack walked down the street." At first I thought I was just hearing things so I dismissed it and went back to my dark thoughts but it didn't go away. I listened as it began talking about my break up and feelings. Hello? What the fuck is going on? I looked around trying to find the source of the voice to no avail. "Confused, Jack looked around cautiously" I had entered a park and figured someone I knew was playing a trick on me with some kind of voice throwing device. The park appeared to be empty though. And who would be doing this anyway. Who would know about us breaking up? WHY DID SHE BREAK UP WITH ME?
--
Reminding himself of the breakup sent Jack into a bottomless hate spiral that made him momentarily forget about the voice that was dictating his movement. "I can still hear you, I just don't care right now." Feeling like a used diaper and not wanting to continue on with this walk in the park for fear of running into some happy couple Jack sat on a nearby bench and put his head in his hands. He thought back on the last few months wondering if there was anything different that he could have done to change all this. Perhaps it was all just fate and it was inevitable.
--
Great now I am going crazy. This is not what I need right now. Her words still reverberated through my brain. "It's not you it me. I feel like we are growing apart and our lives are going in separate directions." What the hell does that crap mean anyway? I bet it was all a cop-out. She probably just wanted to go fuck somebody else. Why does this voice keep talking to me? And why does it talk about itself in the third person?
--
Jack ran down the street hoping to out run the mysterious voice but it followed him through the city. Jack did not want to deal with any of this today. First there was no milk, then he got dumped and now he was hearing voices. "That's it I am going to kill myself" He decided to kill himself. "That's what I just said." Jack caught a cab to the edge of town where the old dam still stood. The quarry had been drained a long time ago and now the remains served as a popular suicide spot. Jack climbed to the apex and looked over the edge.
--
Well, it seems like a cowards way out and most people will probably think I am emo for killing myself but I swear to God I will not listen to this for the rest of my life.
--
It was then that the voice spoke directly to Jack for the first time. "My child, rest easy. Take heart because this, like all other problems in life, will pass."
--
Wait, all this time God has been speaking to me? Why would you do that AND why do you talk about yourself in the third person?
--
Haven't you figured it out yet? God just likes fucking with you guys, its better than HBO. Also, God likes to talk about himself in the third person.
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